Theatrikal Korner
Today on Impresario Paul's Theatrikal Korner, we take a look at the crockery-throwingest acting style of all:
The Method!
Many people believe the Method to be a technique whereby an actor connects their own emotional experiences to the experience of their character, creating a more believable and powerful performance. This belief is widespread but as erroneous as the sky is blue! The Method is actually a technique whereby gorgeous people pretend to have problems.
You see, the trouble with being an actor is that you are gorgeous. All actors are! But sometimes, the character an actor has to portray has problems, such as alcoholism, a history of being sexually abused, or ugliness. Since existence, for an attractive person, is an effortless oiled slide down a springtime hillside of poseys and money, they have a hard time behaving as if anything bad has ever happened to them. And yet, in countless plays, such as King Lear and Urinetown, the best parts (and therefore the parts most likely to go to gorgeous people; have you ever seen a King Lear you didn't want to fuck? I rest my case) are the parts of people who have horrible problems. What's an actor to do?
The Method has the answer. Aspiring practitioners need only sign up for a course, or a series of courses, designed to achieve the desired effect: a convincing display of any emotion other than blank-faced contentment.
Approaches differ. Some classes focus on trying to dredge up actual painful memories from the actor's past. Once in a while these memories turn out to be genuine, but typically they are invented on the spot in the face of extreme "close talking" by the instructor. Any fairly convincing combination of childhood torment and romantic remorse should placate the typical Method acting teacher. The memory is then worked over and analyzed and loudly discussed until it feels real enough to elicit a genuine-looking reaction.
In other classes, the problems are not created by memories of trauma, but by the instructor himself. Recognizing that the students under his charge are angelic beings of an airy-light temperament -- their graceful minds floating as far above the cares of ordinary men as the stars are above the clouds -- he sets about the breaking of their spirits with the care and craftsmanship of a jeweller disassembling a Cartier watch. Treading the kittens of their self-esteem beneath the bootheel of his mighty art, he interrupts, insults, berates, harangues, and petrifies his luckless students until, driven utterly mad, they run screaming into the streets, waving their headshots and auditioning wildly for the part of "Second Dockworker" on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.
And that dockworker is going to have believable dockworker problems, thanks to the Method. Remember all the episodes of L&O: SVU you've seen ruined by nonbelievable dockworkers? Well, take those days and say goodbye to them! That dockworker's going to be depressed, he's going to have a meth problem, he's going to be recently divorced...he's going to be a completely worthless, hopeless human being.
And he's going to be gorgeous.
The Method!
Many people believe the Method to be a technique whereby an actor connects their own emotional experiences to the experience of their character, creating a more believable and powerful performance. This belief is widespread but as erroneous as the sky is blue! The Method is actually a technique whereby gorgeous people pretend to have problems.
You see, the trouble with being an actor is that you are gorgeous. All actors are! But sometimes, the character an actor has to portray has problems, such as alcoholism, a history of being sexually abused, or ugliness. Since existence, for an attractive person, is an effortless oiled slide down a springtime hillside of poseys and money, they have a hard time behaving as if anything bad has ever happened to them. And yet, in countless plays, such as King Lear and Urinetown, the best parts (and therefore the parts most likely to go to gorgeous people; have you ever seen a King Lear you didn't want to fuck? I rest my case) are the parts of people who have horrible problems. What's an actor to do?
The Method has the answer. Aspiring practitioners need only sign up for a course, or a series of courses, designed to achieve the desired effect: a convincing display of any emotion other than blank-faced contentment.
Approaches differ. Some classes focus on trying to dredge up actual painful memories from the actor's past. Once in a while these memories turn out to be genuine, but typically they are invented on the spot in the face of extreme "close talking" by the instructor. Any fairly convincing combination of childhood torment and romantic remorse should placate the typical Method acting teacher. The memory is then worked over and analyzed and loudly discussed until it feels real enough to elicit a genuine-looking reaction.
In other classes, the problems are not created by memories of trauma, but by the instructor himself. Recognizing that the students under his charge are angelic beings of an airy-light temperament -- their graceful minds floating as far above the cares of ordinary men as the stars are above the clouds -- he sets about the breaking of their spirits with the care and craftsmanship of a jeweller disassembling a Cartier watch. Treading the kittens of their self-esteem beneath the bootheel of his mighty art, he interrupts, insults, berates, harangues, and petrifies his luckless students until, driven utterly mad, they run screaming into the streets, waving their headshots and auditioning wildly for the part of "Second Dockworker" on Law & Order: Special Victims Unit.
And that dockworker is going to have believable dockworker problems, thanks to the Method. Remember all the episodes of L&O: SVU you've seen ruined by nonbelievable dockworkers? Well, take those days and say goodbye to them! That dockworker's going to be depressed, he's going to have a meth problem, he's going to be recently divorced...he's going to be a completely worthless, hopeless human being.
And he's going to be gorgeous.
posted by PJay at 3:04 PM
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