A Stitch In Side Saves Nine
Today, during my walk, I actually RAN for three whole minutes! And then did two whole pull-ups! And I haven't eaten fast food in like four weeks!
America's Next Top Male Model, here I come, as soon as you exist, and as soon as I can do a hamstring stretch without falling over.
I'm in some pain right now. Why am I doing this, again? Oh, so I won't hate myself. Got it. Among other reasons, of course.
***
You like the little asterisk ellipsis thing? Signifies a change of subject. Gonna be doing that from now on, when I remember to and when I give a shit about whether a given blog makes any sense.
What is it about housesitting that makes me want to have loud dirty sex? I guess it's the shock of unfamiliar surroundings. Plus the possibility that a friend's cat will be watching you. And then you and the cat will have a secret that your friend can never know. CAT SECRETS.
Every time I agree to housesit, I can't help but get the thought in my head. I haven't actually done this, ever, and I know it's more than slightly inappropriate; I only even mention it here because the friend in question told me, in these words, "feel free to nail chicks here while we're gone." If it's okay to do it, it's okay to think it, and it's even okay to blog about thinking it.
Thinking about it is probably as far as I'll get. I'm mostly using the house as a second living room with a better cable plan. So far I've watched 40 minutes of Lawrence Of Arabia on on-demand, and gotten the shit scratched out of me by Younger Of Two Cats, who's lucky he's such a cutie-wootie-pants with adorable little white booties on his deadly slicey ninja feet, or I probably would've thrown him out the window into traffic by now. If anything in the preceding paragraph sounds sexy, please send me a message so that I can apologize to you.
America's Next Top Male Model, here I come, as soon as you exist, and as soon as I can do a hamstring stretch without falling over.
I'm in some pain right now. Why am I doing this, again? Oh, so I won't hate myself. Got it. Among other reasons, of course.
***
You like the little asterisk ellipsis thing? Signifies a change of subject. Gonna be doing that from now on, when I remember to and when I give a shit about whether a given blog makes any sense.
What is it about housesitting that makes me want to have loud dirty sex? I guess it's the shock of unfamiliar surroundings. Plus the possibility that a friend's cat will be watching you. And then you and the cat will have a secret that your friend can never know. CAT SECRETS.
Every time I agree to housesit, I can't help but get the thought in my head. I haven't actually done this, ever, and I know it's more than slightly inappropriate; I only even mention it here because the friend in question told me, in these words, "feel free to nail chicks here while we're gone." If it's okay to do it, it's okay to think it, and it's even okay to blog about thinking it.
Thinking about it is probably as far as I'll get. I'm mostly using the house as a second living room with a better cable plan. So far I've watched 40 minutes of Lawrence Of Arabia on on-demand, and gotten the shit scratched out of me by Younger Of Two Cats, who's lucky he's such a cutie-wootie-pants with adorable little white booties on his deadly slicey ninja feet, or I probably would've thrown him out the window into traffic by now. If anything in the preceding paragraph sounds sexy, please send me a message so that I can apologize to you.
Labels: Cat Secrets, Loud Dirty Sex, Ninja Feet, Reasons For Living
posted by PJay at 9:01 AM
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